Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly.

As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter.

He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it!

The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this."  read more »

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls.

She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,  read more »

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.  read more »

A blonde came home from her first day commuting into the city.

Her mother noticed she was looking a little peaked and asked, "Honey, are you feeling all right?"

"Not really," the blonde replied.

"I'm nauseous from sitting backward on the train."

"Poor dear," Mom said.

"Why didn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats for a while?"

"I couldn't," she replied,  read more »

One day a blonde kept having the same weird dream everyday, so she went to her doctor.

Doctor: What was your dream about?
Blonde: I was being chase by a vampire!

Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Blonde: I was running in a hall way.

Doctor: Then what happened?

Blonde: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened.

I always come to this door, but I can't open it.  read more »

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a blonde gathering, and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease.

"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?"

"That's easy," he replied. "You ask them a simple question which everyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If they hesitate, that puts you on the right track."

"What sort of question would you ask Doctor?"  read more »

There were three female explorers who decided that they would go explore the African jungle together. One blonde, one brunnette and one redhead.

They were near the middle of the jungle when a rare african tribe surrounded them.

The tribe said that the gods have sent them evil things and the explorers shall be destroyed.

The tribe was going to shoot them with a bow and arrow one at a time.

First they were going to shoot at the brunnette.  read more »

A lawyer is sitting at the desk in his new office.

He hears someone coming to the door.

To impress his first potential client, he picks up the phone as the door opens and says, "I demand one million and not a penny less."

As he hangs up,

the man now standing in his office says,  read more »

A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears.

She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him."

"Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding."

"No, mother," you don't understand.

"I bought a frozen turkey roll and he yelled and screamed at me about the price!"

"Well, the nerve of that lousy cheapskate!" says her mom.  read more »

A big city London lawyer went duck hunting in rural Scotland. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he was doing.

The lawyer responded, "I shot a duck and it fell into this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."

The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and your not coming over here."  read more »