Blonde Jokes



Charles Darwin

Two blondes are on a train, sitting in a cabin next to an older gentleman who happens to have a long beard.

One of the blond girls whispers to the other 'Wow, look, it's Charles Darwin!!'

'Are you stupid, he's been dead for over 200 years!' the other blonde replies.

Just then, another older man walks into the cabin and says 'Howdy Charles, I haven't seen you for hundreds of years, what have you been up to?'

The first blonde says to the second 'Who's stupid now?'



Three blondes are in an elevator

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."



Solution to neighbor’s dog barking all night.

A blonde and her husband are sleeping when the neighbor’s dog starts barks and wakes them up. The blonde sighs, shakes her fist and says 'Wait until you see what I'm going to do to those neighbors!'

She runs out of the house and five minutes later she comes back with a smile on her face. The husband asks 'So, what did you do?'

The blonde says 'Well, I took the dog from their yard and I put it in our yard to see how they like it having the neighbor’s dog barking all night.'



Blonde girlfriend at the first football game

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"



Brunette and Blonde in a bakery.

A brunette and an blonde go into a bakery.

The blonde immediately steals three pastries and puts them in his pocket.

He says to the brunette, “See how good I am? The owner didn’t see a thing.” The brunette says to the blonde, “That’s typical of you blondes. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”

He goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.”  read more »



Not all blonde women are dumb

A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.  read more »



Blond Blue-tooth

A blond went to the dentist.

“I want you to paint my teeth blue.” – the blond.
“What!?” – exclaimed the dentist.
“Just do it!!” – the blond.

So the dentist painted her teeth blue. The blond went back to her car and called her friend to talk about many things. While she was driving a policeman stopped her.

“Mam, your were talking on your mobile while you were driving. Here is how much you must pay.”

“Oh come on!! Don’t you see I have blue-tooth?!”



Economy class Blond in First class

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."  read more »



NASA sends Blonde to space.

NASA sends a space shuttle up with two monkeys and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first monkey and asks, "Monkey #1, do you know your mission?"

The monkey replies, "ooah ooah!. Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. ooah ooah!"

Then NASA Control asks the second monkey, "Monkey #2, do you know your mission?"

The second monkey replies, "ooah ooah! Once Monkey #1 has completed the trillion dollar satellite launch, close hatch, and go back to Earth. Land shuttle. ooah ooah!"  read more »



Blonde Alternative to Cell Phone

Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."

Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?"

Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car."

Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?"

Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."

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