Blonde Jokes

Blonde Geek

A blonde was telling a brunette that her computer broke.

So the brunette said she would check the blonde's e-mail for her.

The blonde said, ''Cool! E-mail me and tell me what I got.''

Blonde lumberjack

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.

"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.

She came back sweating like a pig. ''Christ, how many trees did you cut down?'' asked the foreman.

''6'' she replied.  read more »

Most boring Book

Once a blonde went to the library to get a book.

A few days later, she returns and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring.

It had too many characters and too many numbers, so i would like to return it."

The librarian says to the other librarian, "So here is the person who took our phone book!"

Ice Fishing

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win -- they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.  read more »

Blonde on Fire

A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!"

The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?"

The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"

Cruise Only for $5

A blonde sees a posting on a bulletin board that says, "Cruise Only for $5."

She goes to the address on the back and hands the receptionist $5. The receptionist nods to a burly man reading a newspaper. He walks over to the blonde and knocks her unconscious.

The blonde wakes up tied to a log floating down river. To her right, she sees one of her blonde friends. "Do you think they're going to serve food on this trip?" she asks.

The other blonde replies, "They didn't last year."

Blonde with chickens

A blonde is walking down the street and a car pulled up next to her.

The man in the car says to her, ''What do you have in the bag?''

The blonde replies: ''I have chickens!''

The man thinks for a moment and says, ''If I can guess how many chickens you have in the bag, can I have one?''

The blonde thinks that it sounds fair and replies, ''Okay, but I'll make the bet even better! If you can guess how many chickens I have in the bag I will give you BOTH of them!"

Flights from America to England

A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"

The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."

The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.

Shortage Of Parachutes

A blonde, a brunette, a movie star, the pope, and a pilot were on a plane.

The plane was going down fast, and there were only four parachutes for all five of them.

The pilot took one and jumped, then the movie star took one and jumped, and then the blonde took one and jumped.

The pope told the brunette to take the last one.

The brunette said, "There are still 2 parachutes left! The blonde took my backpack!"

Blonde shoots in the ear

One day, a blonde went to the doctor's office. She went into the examination room and said, "Doctor, I have a bullet hole in my hand and I don't know where it came from!" The doctor asked, "Have you had any personal experience with a gun recently?"  read more »

Syndicate content