Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

An elderly blonde lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The now widowed blonde, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.  read more »

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.

The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind man.

The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.

The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to a blonde lady.

The other two said, so what? The third  read more »

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.

Blonde : Ok

Interviewer : Made in USA

Blonde : Destroyed in Afghanistan

Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up

Blonde : Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum

Blonde : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

Blonde : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat

Blonde : Clever! Don't take my Seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!  read more »

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility you can make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."  read more »

Airport Security alerted an airline crew to keep an eye a blond passenger who appeared excessively nervous and shifty-eyed. Soon after takeoff, the blond man called a stewardess to his seat and said, "I have a live grenade in my pocket. I'll blow up the plane if you do not divert to Cairo."

Perplexed, the stewardess said  read more »

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.  read more »

A phone company put an ad in the paper in order to recruit workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up - a crew of five men and a crew of five blonde women. The company can not decide who to give the job to, so they give the two groups a test. The company boss says, “Each crew will receive a telephone pole that must be installed into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first will get the job.”  read more »

Henry and his wife live in Cranbrook, B.C. Last week while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, “We are going to have 12 inches to 18 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snow plow can get through.”
Henry's wife goes out and moves her car.

A few days later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, “We are expecting 16 inches to 20 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snow plow can get through.”  read more »

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car.

He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange.  read more »

There were two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said, "I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"

--------------------

A blond student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do *anything* to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean...  read more »