Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

There was this nouveau riche blond girl, who went to the nearest Mercedes showroom with a pocketful of dollars, and came out with the latest model.

Half an hour later she was back at the showroom, claiming a that the car they sold her was terrible, that she was disappointed a brand-new Mercedes would get a fault in the gearbox after 15 minutes. The management apologized and gave her a new car.  read more »

The boss who was on the 25th floor of the building called up the blonde secretary on the ground floor for an important file.
Since it was rather urgent the boss told the secretary it was an emergency and that he should hurry with the file.

After more than 30 minutes the blonde clerk appears all tired and panting for breath.

The Boss asks him why he was panting and what caused the huge delay.

The blonde secretary replies,  read more »

Two Blondes rob a bank and mess it up, managing to escape with two sacks that they find on the floor. And they take one sack each. After awhile they meet again and one asks the other, 'What did you find in your sack?'

'One Million Dollars!'

'Wow... that's a lot! What did you do with the cash?'

'I bought a house. How about your sack?'

'Bah... it was full of bills.'

'And what did you do with them?'  read more »

Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.

Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out.  read more »

A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?

Is it........

A-Robin

B-Sparrow  read more »

A blonde secretary was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee.

Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.

She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.

"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" the blonde asked.
The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me."  read more »

There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting "88, 88, 88, 88..." until a blonde came up to her and said, "that looks like fun, can I try?"

The brunette said sure so the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88.." "Well," said the brunette, "that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street"

So the blonde said "OK" and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened.  read more »

An elderly blonde lived on a small farm in Canada, just yards away from the North Dakota border. Their land had been the subject of a minor dispute between the United States and Canada for years. The now widowed blonde, lived on the farm with her son and three grandchildren.  read more »

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.

The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind man.

The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.

The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to a blonde lady.

The other two said, so what? The third  read more »

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.

Blonde : Ok

Interviewer : Made in USA

Blonde : Destroyed in Afghanistan

Interviewer : Good... Keep it Up

Blonde : Bad.... Put it Down

Interviewer : Maxi Mum

Blonde : Mini Dad

Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat

Blonde : Insufficient! Don't Take my seat

Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat

Blonde : Clever! Don't take my Seat

Interviewer : I say you get out!  read more »