Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

A blonde was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette, even though all the signs say not to.

The fumes that came out of the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands. But it also lit up her arm, too! Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked. She took off running down the street.

A police car was at the intersection where it happened and he tried to stop her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming.  read more »

A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?"

The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, "Ehhhh .. 22!"

The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell us your height, please?"  read more »

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher.

"Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."

Later a blonde employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.

The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"  read more »

There are two brunettes and three blondes.

The brunettes are in the front seat and the blondes are in the back of the truck.

Suddenly the truck goes of into the water below the bridge.

The two brunettes quickly open the doors and jump out of the truck.

About a minute later the three blondes come up out of the water gasping for air.

One of the two brunettes asked the blondes what took them so long to come up?  read more »

A blonde comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe.

His boss starts to yell at him:

You are ruining office reputation, go home and change the shoes.

The blonde goes home, and comes back after a while.

Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too.

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Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid blonde are walking together when they spot a hundred dollars on the ground.

Who will take the money?  read more »

A Blonde went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan.

The doctor said: “I have some bad news for you.

First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side.”

Smart Blonde interrupted, “Well, that's normal, isn't it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?”

The doctor replied, “That's true"  read more »

Two blondes decide to go duck hunting.

Neither one of them has ever been duck hunting before.

After several hours they still haven't bagged any.

One hunter looks at the other and says, "I just don't understand it-- why aren't we getting any ducks?"

Her friend says, "I keep telling you, I just  read more »

1. He misspells I.Q.

2. He sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

3. He took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept.

4. He thought Boyz II Men was a day care center and Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.

5. Under “education” on his job application, he put “Hooked On Phonics.”

6. He tripped over a cordless phone.

7. He spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said “concentrate.”  read more »

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water.

A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any," replied the first blonde.

"Well, if you're going to fish, you need fishing licenses," said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing.  read more »

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.

He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?"

"That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if  read more »