Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21."

A Blonde walks up, sees her and decides to join her.

She also starts jumping from rail to rail, saying "21" "21" "21".

Suddenly, the brunette hears a train whistle and jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered all over the place.

The Brunette goes back to jumping from rail to rail , counting "22" "22" "22".

Fred and his blonde wife went fishing in Alaska.

In the middle of nowhere where the place is filled with nothing but white snow.

They finally found a lake and so they cast their lines.

After an hour or two fred's wife yelled. "honey come quick i got a bite."

So Fred rush to his wife only to find out her line is lying flat and can't see any movement.

So he said "your line not moving hon, no one is biting.

I got a bite", she insist.

"Where ?" ask Fred.  read more »

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country.

She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense.

As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....." She forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cockpit hears the noise.

Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "BE SILENT!"  read more »

The county advertised for a new employee to paint the white lines down the middle of the roads.

A blonde lady was the only applicant and she got the job.

On the first day, she painted an impressive 50 miles of road, and her boss was very proud.

On her second day, she painted 25 miles of road, and her boss thought that was just fine.

On her third day she painted only 15 miles of road, and her boss was starting to get concerned.  read more »

Blonde secretary's memo to boss for T2k Problem

To: My boss
From: Secretary
Subject: Changing calendars from Y2K

Sir,

I hope that I haven't misundertood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much snese to me. At any rate, have finished the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready to be distributed. Your Y to K conversion required the following changes:

Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk  read more »

A blonde was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. She wanted to see the Capitol building. Unfortunately, she couldn't find it, so she asked a police officer for directions -

"Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"

The officer replied, "Wait here at this bus stop for the number 54 bus. It'll take you right there." She thanked the officer and he drives off.

Three hours later the police officer returned to the same area and, sure enough, the blonde is still waiting at the same bus stop.  read more »

80,000 blondes are gathered for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.  read more »

Passing an office building late one night, a blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman."

She did so, and after several minutes she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs.

The uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "what do you want?"  read more »

Two blonde gals went together to play the A man tells his blonde wife, he has invited 4 friends for dinner on Friday night. She is a bit nervous and asks if she must cook a meal for the 4.

He explains that there will be 8 coming, because each will bring his wife or a date. Since this is their first party, he suggests that she just get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea, so they sit down and decide what Chinese food to get.  read more »

Two blonde gals went together to play the slot machines at the casino.

Each agreed that when her allotted money was gone, she would go to the front of the casino, and sit on the bench to wait for the other.

Trixie quickly lost all her money and went to sit on the bench. She waited and waited.

After what seemed an eternity, she finally saw Patty coming toward her, and she was carrying this huge sack of coins.

"Hey, Trixie," said Patty, "how'd you do?"  read more »