Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

We blonds at the ofise are tired of all the the dum stoopid jokes about us.

We think this is hairassment.

It causes us grate stress and makes our roots turn dark.

We have hired a loyer and he is talking to the loyers at Clairol.

We will take this all the way to the supream cort if we have two.

Juj Thomas knos all about hairassment and he will be on are side.

We have also talked to the govner to make a new law to stop this pursicushun.  read more »

Two blondes rented a rowboat and went fishing in a lake.

They caught fish after fish. By the end of the afternoon, they had almost two dozen.

One said to the other, "Why don't we come back to the very same place tomorrow?"

"Good idea," her friend answered.

So the first blonde took a piece of chalk and drew an X on the bottom of the boat.

"Don't be stupid!" the friend said. "  read more »

Jim and Blonde Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank like a stone to the bottom and stayed there. Blonde Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.  read more »

A blonde and a brunette are running a ranch together in Louisiana. They decide they need a bull to mate with their cows to increase their herd. The brunette takes their life savings of $600 dollars and goes to Texas to buy a bull.

She eventually meets with an old cowboy that will sell her a bull. “It’s the only one I got for $599, take it or leave it.” She buys the bull and goes to the local telegram office and says, “I’d like to send a telegram to my friend in Louisiana that says: Have found the stud bull for our ranch, bring the trailer.”  read more »

There was a blond guy in a bar one night who got really drunk, I mean really, really, really drunk. When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk. So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face.

Shocked, the nun felt her knees go beneath her but before she could do or say anything he punched her again. This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the bum, then he picked her up and threw her into a wall.  read more »

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car.

“They’ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator,” she cried out.

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line.  read more »

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a “seven-hundred-ten”.

We all looked at each other, confused, and another customer asked, “What is a seven-hundred-ten?”

She replied, “You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine? I lost it and need a new one…” She said that she didn’t know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there and looked important.  read more »

While driving during a horrible snowstorm, a young blonde became disoriented and lost.

She remembered what her father had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.  read more »

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”

”Why sure,” said the manager, ”we have something that works especially well for that.”

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.  read more »

She thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She managed to trip over my cordless phone.

On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarias'.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She told me to meet her on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".

She tried to place a bag of M&M's in alphabetical order.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.  read more »