Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

While driving during a horrible snowstorm, a young blonde became disoriented and lost.

She remembered what her father had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it.

She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing.

She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow.  read more »

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”

”Why sure,” said the manager, ”we have something that works especially well for that.”

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice.  read more »

She thought that Taco Bell was a Mexican phone company.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.

She managed to trip over my cordless phone.

On the bottom of the job application where it said 'Sign Here' she wrote 'Aquarias'.

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

She told me to meet her on the corner of "Walk" and "Don't Walk".

She tried to place a bag of M&M's in alphabetical order.

She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.  read more »

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.

Finally the pro askes her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.

The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.

As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"  read more »

Q ..  How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A .. Knock on the door.

Q .. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A .. The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

Q .. What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A .. A blonde at a blinking red light.

Q .. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A .. A blonde parade.

Q .. What is the blonde's highest ambition in life?
A .. They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.  read more »

He fills data in the birth certificate "Mother: Blonde. Father: Blonde. Kid: Chinese."

"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Blonde?"

"Aah, I read it in the newspaper",Blonde says  read more »

This blonde called 911, screaming "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".

The dispatch said "Mam, please calm down. I need to get some information from you".

Again the blonde yelled "Help me, Help me my house is on fire".

The dispatch said "Mam calm down, How do we get to your house?".

The blonde replied  read more »

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy.

'No woman can keep a secret.'  said one man.

'I don't know about that,' answered a blonde woman guest. 'I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.'

'You'll let it out some day,' the man insisted.  read more »

An exhausted looking blond dragged herself in to the doctor's office. "Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."

"I have good news for you," the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. "Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."

"Great," the blond answered, "I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot."  read more »

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?  read more »