Chuck Norris One Liner

Google no longer runs searches on Chuck Norris
You dont find chuck norris,
Chuck Norris finds you!

Chuck Norris writes half of the jokes on this site, he likes his fans to be informed

Chuck Norris didn't wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Chuck Norris doesn't step away from the vehicle. The vehicle steps away from Chuck Norris.

A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him
cured the man's blindness, unfortunately the first and last thing the
man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark; the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...............TWICE!!!

Chuck Norris' beard is barbed wire soaked in ox blood and held together by the souls of mortals.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

There was only one man ever to outsmart Chuck Norris, Steven Hawking, he got what he deserved.

Although it is not common knowledge, there three sides of the force, the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it
notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed
in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

Chuck Norris once tried to wear glasses. The result was him seeing
around the world to the point where he was looking at the back of his
own head.

A duckâ€™s quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is solely responsible for this phenomenon.

Chuck Norris doesnâ€™t believe in Germany.Â

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Comments

Thu, 03/25/2010 - 16:10 — Anonymous (not verified)

a man asked chuck if his

a man asked chuck if his real name was Charles. Chuck Norris just stared at him until his head exploded. XD

Sun, 08/02/2009 - 08:15 — Anonymous (not verified)

Chuck Norris Is Darth Vared,

Chuck Norris Is Darth Vared, he can kill you without moving.

Thu, 02/19/2009 - 06:29 — Anonymous (not verified)

Do a search on Google

enter "find chuck norris" and click "I'm feeling lucky." Google returns a page that says he cannot be found.

Fri, 02/13/2009 - 19:28 — Mattman (not verified)

Evolution

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of things Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Wed, 02/04/2009 - 21:34 — hekling (not verified)

chuck noris does not run he

chuck noris does not run he moves the earth to where he wants
chuck noris does not sleep he waits

Tue, 01/13/2009 - 17:40 — pyrofreak234@yahoo.com (not verified)

E-mail me

E-mail me @ pyrofreak234@yahoo.com if you have any you want to share w/ me

Tue, 01/13/2009 - 17:37 — Pyrofreak234@yahoo.com (not verified)

w000t

Chuck Norris' house has no doors.........just walls that he walks through

Chuck Norris once lost both legs in a car accident.......he still managed to walk away from it......

Chuck Norris had his tonsils removed w/ a chainsaw

every 2 seconds someone in america needs blood all of them due to Chuck Norris

There are no weapons of mass destruction in iraq.........Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes w/ his feet

Chuck Norris once shot down a German plane by pointing @ it and yelling "BANG"

The only reason Outer Space exists is b/c it is to afraid to live on the same planet as Chuck Norris

If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars Chuck Norris has more

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table.......b/c he only recognizes the element of surprise

Thu, 01/08/2009 - 02:19 — Anonymous (not verified)

Chuck Norris can win a game

Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in three moves.

Tue, 12/30/2008 - 06:43 — Dominic-my jokes suck but here they are (not verified)

.............................

google doesnt find chuck norris chuck norris cant be seen
google cant seem to find chuck norris try again when chuck norris isnt chuck norris
chuck norris doesnt brush his teeth unless they are really askin for it
chuck norris is wat chuck norris was and thats chuck norris
Bobby:whose Chuck Norris? BAM! roundhouse kick to the face by chuck norris
Chuck norris isnt on the bed ,the bed is under chuck norris ,terrified
chuck norris can count to infinity twice in .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001
seconds
chuck norris doesnt count the numbers talk for him

Wed, 11/26/2008 - 22:59 — The half blood princess (not verified)

.chuck norris is the reaon

.chuck norris is the reaon fuzzy wuzzy has no hair.

chuck norris knows hoi\w much a woodcuhck can chuck if a wood chick could chick wood

chuck norris killed edward cullen ( when he was a vampire)

Mon, 11/24/2008 - 11:36 — KAT (not verified)

Whopper

Chuck Norris walked into McDonald's and ordered a Whopper. He got one.

Tue, 11/18/2008 - 00:51 — Anonymous (not verified)

Chuck Norris

1: CHuck Norris is so fast he ran around the wourld and punched himself in the back of the head

2: Chuck Norris had a boner... there were no survivors.

3: E.T. phoned home... Chuck Norris answered.

Sun, 11/09/2008 - 16:04 — Anonymous (not verified)

Hitler didn't really

Hitler didn't really exist. He was a cover-up for when Chuck Norris lost to a Jew in a card game.

Thu, 12/18/2008 - 21:08 — Delta_301 (not verified)

Lol

Haha!

It's a wee bit racist perhaps, but it's so funny!

Best CN Fact I have seen in a while!

Wed, 10/22/2008 - 11:38 — Anonymous (not verified)

When Chuck Norris...

When Chuck Norris Jumps In A Pool Chuck Norris Doesn't Get Wet, The Water Gets Chuck Norris

Sun, 09/14/2008 - 12:16 — Anonymous (not verified)

chuck norris

they thought dimond was the harded thing on earth, till they found chuck norris.

Tue, 09/30/2008 - 19:20 — Anonymous (not verified)

they thought diamonds was

they thought diamonds was the hardest thing on earth, til they found Michael Jackson in Chucky Cheese.

Sat, 09/06/2008 - 23:53 — Devante and Dorian Griffin (not verified)

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesnt blow his nose.
Snot runs away from Cuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesnt need electricity
Electricity needs Chuck norris

Â Chuck Norris beat solitaire in 1 turn

Chuck Norris doesnt chop down trees
Trees fall in fear of chuck norris

Thu, 07/31/2008 - 14:07 — Anonymous (not verified)

chuck norris invented

chuck norris invented pinecones

Sat, 06/28/2008 - 03:53 — Anonymouse (not verified)

Toilet Paper

They once tried to make a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

Thu, 06/26/2008 - 18:49 — Anonymous (not verified)

Chuck Norris is the only man

Chuck Norris is the only man ever to give birth. His child was called the Atomic Bomb.

Sat, 06/14/2008 - 19:03 — chuck norris (not verified)

chuck norris can beat a

chuck norris can beat a brick wall in tennis

Tue, 06/24/2008 - 05:35 — peblemaster (not verified)

Chuck Norris can slam a

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Wed, 05/07/2008 - 04:01 — Anonymous (not verified)

While most people's white

While most people's white blood cells are pure white, Chuck's have a black ring around them, signifying that they are black belt cells and can officially kick any disease's ass.

Wed, 05/07/2008 - 02:26 — BECAUSE ITS FUNNY READ (not verified)