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Chuck Norris's IT skills



Chuck Norris can edit PDF files

Chuck Norris rips CDs with his hands

Chuck Norris can download Metallica mp3s using Napster

Chuck Norris has a yahoo account with hotmail

Chuck Norris has an Intel CPU on an AMD motherboard

Chuck Norris has to chain his mouse to his desktop

Chuck Norris can program a MAC with excel macros

Chuck Norris website has never had a hit - Nobody hits Chuck Norris’ website

Chuck Norris invented C++ after roundhouse kicking C - TWICE

Chuck Norris is the Domain controller

Chuck Norris has the IP 0.0.0.0

Chuck Norris is mailer-daemon

Chuck Norris is Dr Watson

Chuck Norris monitor has no glare… no-one glares at Chuck Norris

format c: is the request to have Chuck Norris come roundhouse kick your PC

Chuck Norris has Windows XP on his Apple MAC

Chuck Norris never gets the page cannot be displayed error

Machine code is another name for Chuck Norris language

Chuck Norris CPU doesn’t have a fan

Chuck Norris can write DVDs on floppy drive

Chuck Norris invented the internet

Chuck Norris can paste pics in Notepad

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked his 14400k modem & that’s how we got ADSL

Chuck Norris’s Dot matrix printer prints photos - in colour

Chuck Norris uses Notepad for a database

Chuck Norris’ PC speaker gives him 7.1 DTS surround sound


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Comments


Sun, 04/11/2010 - 23:52 — Anonymous (not verified)

Haters

Chuck Norris is only a TV icon that beat the shit out of every bad guy but other than that Walker Texas Ranger had limited entertainment value. His movies were slightly better, these jokes are for fun and to spice up Chuck's image. Come on dont hate, because Chuck Norris's blood type is WD-40.


Sat, 04/10/2010 - 19:54 — Anonymous (not verified)

For real, people....

...get off the subject of killing chuck norris, K?
Your mission is not to kill chuck norris.
Your REAL mission is TO FIRE YOUR LAYZAR BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

And shut up about "i was just on ur mom LOL" or I will light you on FIRE!!!
-just kidding-
^_^


Fri, 02/12/2010 - 21:41 — Anonymous (not verified)

Always remember, never forget

Always, always, ALWAYS! check your room for Chuck Norris. And hire Chuck Norris to protect you from Chuck Norris. PS It makes sense to me, OKAY?


Tue, 04/13/2010 - 01:16 — Anonymous (not verified)

Chuck Norris fathered 'the

Chuck Norris fathered 'the mother-board'

His PC never re-boots.One kick is ALWAYS enough.

Chuck invented binary by kicking Basic.


Tue, 09/15/2009 - 20:53 — joker (not verified)

Chuck norris

the mall doesn't need mall security because Chuck Norris can multiply and round-house kick any and every shoplifter in the mall


Mon, 07/06/2009 - 21:12 — Anonymous (not verified)

chuck norris

In soviet russia chuck norris still beat you
chuck norris went to burger king and ordered a big mac, he got it


Wed, 05/20/2009 - 02:50 — Anonymous (not verified)

Chuck Norris plays Russian

Chuck Norris plays Russian Roulette with a fully loaded revolver... and wins.


Mon, 03/16/2009 - 20:42 — Anonymous (not verified)

Superman

Superman lives in fear of Chuck Norris because not even the man of steel can survive a roundhouse kick to the face.


Sat, 04/10/2010 - 19:46 — Anonymous (not verified)

OH YEAH, BABY!!!!!!

OH YEAH, BABY!!!!!!


Thu, 09/10/2009 - 03:26 — !ChuckNora! (not verified)

TRUE

Chuck Norris once went to a prep party and round-house-kicked eery popped coller in sight....rawr


Tue, 02/10/2009 - 04:19 — Anonymous (not verified)

Jesus can walk on water...

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land


Fri, 02/06/2009 - 19:43 — Anonymous (not verified)

joke

When chuck norris jumps in water chuck norris dont get wet water gets chuck norris
when the boogie man goes to bed he checks the closet for chuck norris
Hope you like the jokes


Thu, 01/29/2009 - 07:50 — Anonymous (not verified)

what do i do?

ummm..... i just accidently a coca cola bottle...... is this bad?


Wed, 01/14/2009 - 18:46 — Anonymous (not verified)

i killed chuch norris

i killed chuch norris


Mon, 03/16/2009 - 20:45 — Anonymous (not verified)

impossible

no one can kill Chuck Norris!


Mon, 11/24/2008 - 16:37 — Anonymous (not verified)

Who cares

Chuck Norris is retarded and all you followers of him should be afraid of me comming to "roundhouse kick" your face in cuz i beat up Chuck Norris last night. so go suck some1 else's dick cuz that is all you want Chuck Norris for


Tue, 04/13/2010 - 01:25 — Anonymous (not verified)

What is the difference between...

Chuck Norris and an Ostrich egg?
An Ostrich egg takes a half hour to beat and an hour to boil.
Chuck Norris cannot be beaten or boiled.


Thu, 02/26/2009 - 13:45 — Anonymous (not verified)

u are a freak

how did u beat up chuck norris
oh wiat u didnt


Thu, 02/26/2009 - 13:44 — Anonymous (not verified)

u are a freak

how did u beat up chuck norris
oh wiat u didnt


Mon, 02/09/2009 - 21:31 — Anonymous (not verified)

you a douch bag

hahaha well.. urmm what got stuck up your figina


Wed, 12/24/2008 - 20:52 — Anonymous (not verified)

calm down

It's just for laughs, why are you taking this so seriously?


Sat, 11/29/2008 - 14:39 — Anonymous (not verified)

you sir are an idiot

you sir are an idiot


Mon, 11/24/2008 - 22:09 — Anonymous (not verified)

thats really sad considering

thats really sad considering you bothered to search this page in the first place. now go suck your mums fat sweaty dick


Fri, 11/21/2008 - 08:37 — Anonymous (not verified)

Amazing Joke

In a fight with chuck norris there are always 2 hits, he hits you, you hit the floor!!


Mon, 06/15/2009 - 09:06 — Anonymous (not verified)

that's 3 hits. 1. Him

that's 3 hits.

1. Him hitting you,
2. You hitting the floor,
3. The ambulance hitting 90 down the freeway


Tue, 11/11/2008 - 19:04 — Anonymous (not verified)

for every hour that our

for every hour that our soliders are in iraq chuck norris comes and hits a iraq baby in the face.


Fri, 10/31/2008 - 13:40 — your mom (not verified)

U guys think you are so

U guys think you are so funny but ur mom.


Tue, 01/13/2009 - 03:27 — Anonymous (not verified)

"ur mom"

lets get off mum's all together ,Lords knows i just got off your's


Mon, 02/22/2010 - 19:57 — Anonymous (not verified)

LOL

LOL


Fri, 10/31/2008 - 13:40 — your mom (not verified)

U guys think you are so

U guys think you are so funny but ur mom.


Sat, 08/30/2008 - 20:06 — Anonymous (not verified)

Pajamas

Some people wear superman pajamas superman wears chuck norris pajamas


Fri, 07/18/2008 - 18:14 — Anonymous (not verified)

good

good chuch norris is annoying. chuck norris is still alive though


Mon, 06/02/2008 - 20:18 — Anonymous (not verified)

i killed chuch norris

i killed chuch norris


Sun, 08/31/2008 - 12:40 — Anonymous (not verified)

every person to say they

every person to say they killed chuck norris died from a round house kick to the head, after they pissed themselves that is

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