Customer Service Jokes



Getting out of debt

Me: “Thank you for calling cardholder service, how may I help you?”

Customer: “You sent me a bill. Why?”

Me: “May I please have your card number?”

Customer: “I threw it away when the balance was gone.”

Me: “Um… can I have your social security number?”

Customer: *gives number*

Me: “I show your current balance is $10,027.31, due on 07/25/2008. Would you like to make a payment today so you do not get a late fee?”

Customer: “What do you mean? Why did you send me a bill?”  read more »



The Telemarketer Fun Game

Everyone has gotten a call from a telemarketer, the new Scourge of the Telephone System. Previously when the phone rang, you always wondered if it was someone you knew or another nimrod with something to sell.
Well, the time has come to turn the tables. We need to take control of our own phones. We need to take the "market" out of "telemarketing."

PREMISE

Telemarketers take the brute force approach to making sales. If you talk to a whole bunch of people, someone will buy what you're selling.

COUNTER-TACTIC  read more »



Westjet Flight Information

You've got to love the Canadian sense of humour.

West Jet is an Airline with head office situated in Calgary. West Jet airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight & safety lectures and announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are several real examples that have been heard or reported by passengers from real flights:

On a West Jet flight. There is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want. Passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, People, people weare not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!  read more »



Pull-out cup holders

Caller: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"

Tech: "Yes it is, how may I help you?"

Caller: "The cup holder on my PC is borken and I am within my warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"

Tech: "I'm sorry, but did you say cup holder?"

Caller: "Yes, its attached to the front of my PC."  read more »



How can i help you

(I work at the customer service desk at a grocery store. One day I had a guy come up and cash a winning lottery ticket for a dollar, and this is what then took place.)

Me: “There you go. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah, uh…I’ve got some dishes to be done, some windows to be washed, and a lawn to be mowed.”

Me: *thinking he’s joking* “Ha ha, yeah….”  read more »



Worlds Greatest Salesman

Three salesmen were bragging who is the best.

The first said, that he is so good he sold a color television to a blind man.

The second bragged he sold a HI-FI stereo system to a deaf man.

The third said he sold a Cuckoo clock to a blonde lady.

The other two said, so what? The third  read more »



Cheap Flower Delivery

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send flowers for the occasion.

They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card.

It said "Rest in Peace".

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was,  read more »



General Motors Customer Service

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know
how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers --
but imagine if they did....

Call No. 1

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"  read more »



Marriage Name Change Tradition

Me: “Thank you for calling [eye doctor’s office], how can I help you?”

Lady: “Hello, I want to check on the status of my glasses.”

Me: “Okay, what is your full name?”

Lady: “Lori Johnson, spelled L-O-R-I.”

Me: “Okay, hold please.”

(I check the computer for Lori Johnson and it doesn’t come up. I then check alternative spellings things like Laurie, Lory, Lauri, etc. All to no avail.)

Me: “I’m sorry Miss, would you mind giving me your date of birth?”  read more »



Help fix my computer.

(I was working in warranties for a large computer manufacturer, mostly with businesses but a few individuals came through on the line here and there.)

Me: “Thank you for calling ***. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My computer don’t work.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am. Can I get the serial number off of your CPU?”

Customer: “My what?”

Me: “The computer tower.”

Customer: “Huh?”  read more »

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