I work for a nationwide ISP, doing overnight technical support. A man
who had immigrated from Croatia called to ask us, in his thick eastern
European accent, mind you, why we were kicking him offline.Â
- Customer: "Why do you guys keep kicking me offline?"
- Tech Support: "Can you hold on a moment while I look at your
- Customer: "Sure, but please hurry."
- Tech Support: "Ok." ... "Hi, thanks for holding. It looks like
our servers are reporting that either your modem is hanging up
like a normal disconnect, or the connection is just being lost.
This is usually attributed to line noise. I'd advise you get in
- Customer: "No, that is not what it is!"
- Tech Support: "Well, that would normally be the first place I'd
look. The modems are just losing touch with each--"
- Customer: "All right. Apparently they do not tell you
everything there. What I'm trying to look at are some Croatian
newspapers to keep up with what's going on in my old country.
The government did not like me when I was there and they do not
like me being in touch with my family and events there today."
- Tech Support: "Sir, the government there cannot disconnect you
from the Internet here. You are in the United St--"
- Customer: "My government was very powerful. They can do lots
of things you would never imagine."
- Tech Support: "I'm sure in Croatia, the government would have the
power to disconnect you from the Internet. The service providers
are under their jurisdiction there. However, in America, there is
nothing they could do to force our computers to knock you off line.
You're safe. I'm telling you, the first and foremost place I'd look
is the telephone company to have them do what's called a 'data grade
- Customer: "No, no, no. That is alright. I just wanted to know
if you were doing it intentionally, or if it was them. Thank you.
Thank you. Have a good night."
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