Funny call center stories



Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before
cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".

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Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".
Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

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Tech Support: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm Not going to do that!"

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I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day,
7 days a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?"

Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

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I took this call in a cellular phone call center.
Caller: I can't make outbound calls on my cell phone.
Rep: Do you have the phone with you?
Caller: Yes, I'm talking on it right now.
Rep: The phone is working just fine. You just called me.
The embarrassed caller quickly hung up.

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I've had some really strange ones myself, i cant think of the best ones now! this one amused me afterwards but gave me such a headache because she shouted so much i had to take a smoke break...

i had this woman ring up... After being as nice is as physically possible when someone is shouting at you, I kindly asked her to please lower her voice. She repeatedly told me that the call centre had given her nothing but hassle and then shouted "is it because im black?"... after assuring her the company does not practice racial discrimination... i thought to myself... shes on the phone... how would she expect me to know anyway... i cant see her...

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CS: Thank you for calling... this is Candy, how may I help you?
Cust: What did you say your name was... Mandy?
CS: No, sir, it's Candy...
Cust: Sorry, can't hear ya... didja say Mandy?
CS: No, sir.. Candy, sir... Candy... as in Storck!!!
(oohhh... now I get it!!!)


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Great Wall of china

I work in an Australian process with call center in India. A Chinese lady once called n when she came to know she was connected to an Indian she got really excited and told she has seen India and its a wonderful place, delighted i asked, where has she visited India n she replied Oh no I have seen it from Great wall of China, I had no words .



Computer Hardware Hardships

Customer : How can I use CD in my newly bought Computer
Me : Ok maam, do you know what is a CPU ?
Customer : What !!??
Me : Ok, Maam, do you see your computer is a set of three main peices, the monitor, keyboard and a rectangular cabinet with power and reset buttons on it ?
Customer : Yes, I see it.
Me: Ok, can you see on top right side of your front of cabinet, there is a small button ? Press that gently once.
Customer : Ok, its already open, what about it ? I use it daily.
Me : Thats your CD tray, place a CD... (interrupts)
Customer : Ohhhhh!!!! I thought its a coffee tray !!!!

(It was soo hilarious... i couldnt stop laughing, i transferred the call to my superior just to tell her one more add-on feature of CD tray. )



BULL SHITT

Me: Thanks for calling HP printer support.
EU(end user): I cant send an e-mail...
ME: STUPID - Hung up

Why call HP when you cant send an e-mail?



Maybe wanted to say "I can't

Maybe wanted to say "I can't send an email...to you about my broken printer what just failed to print because your support website's 'send email' function also doesn't work..."



This isnt really that funny

This isnt really that funny but I found it slighty moronic, I had a customer who was spelling his surname in phonetic alphabet but must have forgotten what "K" was, and decided to say "K for Knight"....



Vista probs...

I got this irate caller a few months back...

Me: Thanks for calling Dell this is Mary how can I help you?
Customer: I hate Dell! You should stop producing Vista! Vista SUCKS!!!
Me: I do understand where you are coming from, but you see maam Microsoft is the company the created Vista
not Dell.
Customer: .... oh (Hangs up)



ME: Thank you for calling

ME: Thank you for calling .........my name is .........how can I help you?
CX: My daughter purchase tickets using my CC I want a refund.
ME: I apologize for that inconvenience but all sales are final no refunds or exchanges.
CX: Well she is a spoiled Brat uncontrollable kid what can we do about that?
ME: Im sorry ma'm but I'm afraid I can't help you with that maybe you can try a Juvenile Correctional Facility.
HANG UP.



Customer Service

ME: Thank you for calling .........my name is .........how can I help you?
CX: My daughter purchase tickets using my CC I want a refund.
ME: I apologize for that inconvenience but all sales are final no refunds or exchanges.
CX: Well she is a spoil Brat uncontrollable kid what can we do about that?
ME: Im sorry ma'm but I'm afraid I can't help you with that maybe you can try a Juvenile Correctional Facilitie.
HANG UP.



These transcripts are better

These transcripts are better than jokes. I can't believe there are people out there speaking without thinking. The "P on your keyboard" was the best line ever!



Customer Service... Situation

I work for RONCO's Customer Service on CA, and I had this weird call some days ago...

Me: Thank you for calling Ronco's Customer Service, my name is Daniel, How can I help you?
Lady: Hello, I wanna check on an order
Me: Fine ma'am, may I know ur name please?
Lady: Merry Christmas
Me: Thank you ma'am, Merry Christmas for you too.
Lady: No sir, thats my name...

(Laughing, I had to place the call on hold for around 5 minutes while I laughed my ass off... How can parents do that to a poor girl? XD)

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