Funny Doctors' Comments on Patient Charts

"Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year."

"On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd
day it disappeared completely."

"The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1993."

"Discharge status: Alive but without permission."

"Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally
alert but forgetful."

"The patient refused an autopsy."

"The patient has no past history of suicides."

"Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital."

"Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days."

"Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch."

"She is numb from her toes down."

"The skin was moist and dry."

"Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches."

"Patient was alert and unresponsive."

"I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy."

"The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took
a job as a stockbroker instead."

"Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities."

"Skin: Somewhat pale but present."

"By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart stopped, and he was feeling
better."

"The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane
ran out of gas and crashed."

"When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room."

"The patient will need disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to
dispose of him."

"The patient expired on the floor uneventfully."

Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor