Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny Answered The Question

One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday.

On the first Friday the teacher asks: "How many grains of sand are on the beach?" needless to say, no one could answer.

The following Friday, the teacher asks the class: "How many stars are in the sky?" and again no one could answer. Frustrated little Johnny decides that the next Friday he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.  read more »

Why i was never late for school

Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has to tell a big lie explaining why.

The teacher tells the headmaster that she is fed up with his exaggerations.

The headmaster tells her to send Billy to him the next time he turns up late.

He'll tell Billy a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever!

The next day Billy shows up two hours late.

Billy says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school.  read more »

Little Johnny plays Mommie and Daddy.

Little Johnny rushes home from school.

He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen.

She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now.

It’s too close to supper time.

Go outside and play.”

Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to play with.”

Trying to placate him, she says, “OK, I’ll play with you.

What do you want to play?” He says, “I wanna play Mommie and Daddy.”  read more »

Smarter Than You Think

There was a little boy named Johnny who used to hang out at the local corner market.  The owner didn't know what Johnny's problem was, but the boys would constantly tease him.

They would always comment that he was two bricks shy of a load, or two pickles short of a barrel.  To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel - they said, because it was bigger.  read more »

If I Were a Millionaire

"Take a pencil and paper," the teacher said, "and write an essay with the title 'If I Were a Millionaire' "

Everyone but Little Johnny, who leaned back with arms folded, began to write furiously.

"What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?"  read more »

Short Little Johnny Jokes

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
Little Johnny : "HIJKLMNO"!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
Little Johnny : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

************ *****

TEACHER : Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Little Johnny!

************ *****  read more »

Little Johnny and The Math Teacher

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.

She called on him and said, "Johnny! what are 4, 2, 28 and 44?"

Little Johnny quickly replied,  read more »

Minister Little Jonny

After church on Sunday morning, Little Johnny suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided I'm going to be a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us," his mother said, "But what made you decide to be a minister?"  read more »

Little Johnny on the Phone

The boss of a big company needed to call one of his employees about an urgent problem with one of the main computers. He dialed the employees home phone number and was greeted with a child's whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience of having to talk to a youngster the boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes", whispered Little Johnny.

May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, Little Johnny whispered, "No."  read more »

Are you Stupid, Little Johnny

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.

She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"  read more »

Syndicate content