Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

1. Change the speed dial settings on a co workers phone.

2. Put a sign on your photocopier that says "New Copier - Voice activated - please speak your command" Watch the fun.

3. Ask a work mate if they need a hand, then give them a photo copy of your hand.

4. Move your desk into the elevator and ask anyone that comes in if they have an appointment.

5. Arm people with water pistols, Nerf balls or paper wads to assail anyone who is blocking creativity.  read more »

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting.

On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears.

The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each".

So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff and he was gone.  read more »

1. CUSTOMER SERVICE - Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As children very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play "Customer Service." Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to sleep with your manager.

2. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet  read more »

Gary wants a job as a signalman on the railways. He is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector puts this question to him: "What would you do if you realized that 2 trains were heading for each other on the same track?" Gary says, "I would switch the points for one of the trains."

"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector. "Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Gary, "and I'd use the manual lever over there."  read more »

A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager.

He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job.

He asked each applicant the question. "What is two and two?"

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "Twenty- two."

The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm glad we had time to discuss this important question.  read more »

A Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.

On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?"

"No", replied the trainee.

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!"

The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?"  read more »

A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO.

This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall.

The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business!

The CEO walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"

Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?"  read more »

Young man Murphy applied for an engineering position at an Irish firm based in Dublin. An American applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager.

Upon completion of the test both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the American the job."

Murphy: "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct.  read more »

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot to the left costs $500.”

“Why does the parrot cost so much?” the customer asks.

The owner says, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.”

The customer asks about the next parrot and is told, “That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.”  read more »

The Boss asked for a letter describing Bob Smith:

*Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
*hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without
*wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
*thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always  read more »