Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

Don’t like your job?

This list of office pranks is sure to get any one fired.

If your boss keeps you after doing any of these, WHY DO YOU WANT TO QUIT.

1. Photocopy an entire dictionary and fax it to the CFO.

2. Schedule a series of important departmental meetings and forget to show up to them.

3. (Office Prank) Send blank sheets of paper via interoffice mail. (Marked “urgent” and “confidential”, of course.) Remember to send a few to the mailroom; they’ll especially get a kick out of it.  read more »

Describe your own job in one sentence

1.    Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer
2.    Stand on a field and get yelled at for hours: Baseball Umpire
3.    Talk in other people’s sleep: College Professor
4.    Call people who know what they’re doing and ask them what they’re doing: Incident Manager
5.    Show people how beautiful the Earth would be without them: Mountain Landscape Photographer/Climber
6.    Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester  read more »

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect.

The next day, he brought a small sign that

Read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:  read more »

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.

A thing not worth doing isn't worth doing well.

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?

I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Jesus is coming! Look Busy.  read more »

Here is the problem…. HOW DO YOU RECRUIT PEOPLE INTO A BUSINESS?

See the answer below:

Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.

If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them.. Put them in auditing .  read more »

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Sunday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 27th of July. at 1500 hrs,

I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.  read more »

Poetic Resignation  

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age  read more »

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position .

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management  read more »

One day an employee sends a letter to Her boss asking for an increase in her salary !!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.  read more »

404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, “404 Not Found,” which means the document requested couldn’t be located. “Don’t bother asking John. He’s 404.”

Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”  read more »