Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

JESUS SAVES!   But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
(Men's restroom - American University: Washington, D.C.)

Make love, not war.   Hell, do both, get married!
(Women's restroom - The Filling Station: Bozeman, Montana)

Remember, it's not "How high are you?" - it's "Hi, how are you?"
(Rest stop off Route 81, WV.)

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
(Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea: Tucson, Arizona)

Beauty is only a light switch away.
(Perkins Library - Duke University: Durham, North Carolina.)

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
(Men's restroom - Murphy's: Champaign, IL.)

If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
(Smoky Joe's - Philadelphia, PA.)

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
(Armand's Pizza - Washington, D.C.)

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?  CONGRESS!
(Men's restroom - House of Representatives: Washington, D.C.)

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
(Revolution Books: New York, New York)

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
(Houghton Library - Harvard University: Cambridge, Massachusetts.)

To do is to be.       - Descartes
To be is to do.       - Voltaire
Do be do be do.       - Frank Sinatra
(Men's restroom - Greasewood Flats: Scottsdale, Arizona)
 

What are you looking on the wall for?  The joke’s in your hands.
(Men's rest room - Lynagh's: Lexington, KY.)

You're too good for him.
(Sign over mirror in Women's restroom - Ed Debevic's: Beverly Hills, CA.)

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