Best One Liner Jokes



Born free, taxed to death.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

What is faster Hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.

Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.

I can handle pain until it hurts.


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