Q: How many Frenchmen died in World War II????
A: Not Enough.
Q: Why do we need France on our side against Sadaam and Osama?
A: So the French can show them how to surrender.
Q: What do you call a Frenchman advancing on Baghdad?
A: A salesman
Q: What’s the shortest book ever written?
A: French War Heroes.
Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training?
A: How to surrender in at least 10 languages.
Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.
Q: Why does Nike like the French Army?
A: Because, in war time, they are the biggest buyers of running shoes.
Q: Why do the French call their fighter the *Mirage*?
A: Because it doesn’t really exist.
Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy?
A: To see all their other ships.
Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the Panzers.
Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back?
A: Jacques Chirac
Q: Why is good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.
Q: How many Frenchman does it take to guard Paris?
A: Nobody knows, its never been tried before
Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?
A: The Army.
Q: Why don’t they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A: Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.
Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: Shoot the guy that’s pushing it!
Q: Why are the French so afraid of war?
A: You would be too if you never won one in your history.
Q: What’s the difference between toast and Frenchmen?
A: You can make soldiers out of toast!
Q: Why don’t the French really want the US to attack Iraq?
A: Don’t want their record for surrender broken.
Q: Why does every army have to have a French flag?
A: In case they want to surrender!
Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries?
Q: How do you confuse a French Soldier?
A: Give him a rifle and ask him to shoot it.
Q. Why don’t Master Card and Visa work well in France?
A. They do not know how to say “CHARGE!”
Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country?
A: I don’t know either, its never happened!
Q: What Does “Maginot Line” mean in French?
A: “Speed bump ahead”
Q: What’s the new French flag look like?
A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background!
Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate?
A: She wanted to be the first French person to be able to defend herself!
Q: Why do the French never perform “the wave” at a soccer game?
A: Because, that’s a gesture reserved for use only in time of war.
Q: What does a French military alliance and a French romance have in common?
A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless.
Q: Why does the French Navy suck?
A: Because cardboard doesn’t float!
Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes?
A: Surrender twice.