Good One Liners


  • What do you call a sheep with no legs?
    A cloud.

 

  • Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what i just said.
    When did you first notice this problem?
    What problem?

 

  • What is defference between man and Superman?
    Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.

 

  • Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
    Teacher: no, of course not.
    Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework.

 

  • I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries".
    The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that".

 

  • Why don't oysters give to charity?
    Because they're shellfish.

 

  • How can you tell if a redneck is married?
    There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.

 

  • How can you tell if a redneck is married?
    There is tobacco spit stains on BOTH sides of his pickup truck.

 

  • Don't spend 2 dollars to have a shirt dry cleaned. Donate it to the Salvation Army. They'll clean it and put it on a hangar. Next morning you can buy it back for 75 cents.

 

  • Why are blondes only allowed 30 minute lunch breaks?
    It takes too long to retrain them if they take an hour.

 

  • What does a blonde say after her doctor tells her that she's pregnant.
    Is it mine?

 

  • What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
    There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot.

 

  • How do you make a blonde laugh on a Saturday?
    Tell her a joke on a Wednesday.

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