Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

1. Flying isn't dangerous.  Crashing is what's dangerous.

2. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

3. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude.  No one has ever collided with the sky.

4. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival.  Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival - and vice versa.

5. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

6. Every takeoff is optional.  Every landing is mandatory. 

7. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger.  If you pull the stick back, they get smaller.  That is, unless you keep pulling the stick back - then they get bigger again.

8. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool.  When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others.  You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

11. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of takeoffs you've made.

12. Good judgment comes from experience.   Unfortunately, experience usually come from bad judgment.

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