Sarcastic One Liners

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

A woman's favorite position is CEO.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.

You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

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One Liner Jokes

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Comments

Fri, 08/20/2010 - 02:40 — Anonymous (not verified)

If idiots grew on trees,

If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard!

Mon, 08/16/2010 - 19:32 — Juliana (not verified)

Common Sense

Always pick you nose before you pick your butt...NEVER do it the other way around!

Wed, 07/21/2010 - 21:39 — big tits (not verified)

Real nice ones. I am

Real nice ones. I am bookmarking this page and will use them in status for my GTALK. LOL>

Sun, 06/27/2010 - 18:49 — Lil'Sarcasm (not verified)

If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome
You don't have to say anything. You offend me just by being in the area
Well, you probably said it without thinking, the way you do most things
Don't worry about it. I've never listened to a thing you've said since the day I met you
I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives

Sat, 04/17/2010 - 18:41 — Anonymous (not verified)

Protect trees, eat nonveg

Mon, 04/05/2010 - 11:32 — Anonymous (not verified)

Somewhere, a village is

Somewhere, a village is being deprived of it's idiot.
Ha Ha, last time I heard that I fell off my dinosaur!
I'll start being nicer if you start being smarter.
I don't have time to ignore you right now, maybe some other time.

Tue, 03/16/2010 - 10:21 — Online Adult dating (not verified)

No Comments

What kind of jokes it is.It is looking like a story.

Wed, 03/03/2010 - 13:54 — hotels in paris (not verified)

"I thought I wanted a

"I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks."
Yess, that's my line!!

I love my career...until I have to live from it.

Thu, 02/18/2010 - 12:21 — Anonymous (not verified)

We are all entitled to be

We are all entitled to be stupid. Unfortunately some people tend to abuse this privilege.

Sun, 08/23/2009 - 05:59 — Mick-o (not verified)

People in glass houses, be

People in glass houses, be as loud as you want, we can see what you F*@k'n doing!

Look, I really do like you, I'm just very busy, but hey if you are free on the 31st of september then IT'S A DATE!

Let's make like a tree, and produce fruit! or give little children something to climb on!
(copyright, mick-o, 2009)

Mon, 06/08/2009 - 18:23 — Anonymous (not verified)

helium factory

i used to work in a helium factory but i quit, i refused to be talked to in that tone

Wed, 04/08/2009 - 17:38 — Tim Denning (not verified)

If you suddenly find you

If you suddenly find you cannot fix it, screw it up so nobody else can !

Tue, 03/02/2010 - 20:46 — Anonymous (not verified)

YOUR NOTHING BUT LOST IN

YOUR NOTHING BUT LOST IN PRESENT

Mon, 03/09/2009 - 05:35 — Anonymous (not verified)

well, You tried and you

well, You tried and you failed. The lesson here; never try.

Mon, 03/09/2009 - 05:31 — Anonymous (not verified)

If at first you don't

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried....

Wed, 01/14/2009 - 13:00 — Johnny (not verified)

Save your

Save your soul!cool

Thu, 01/08/2009 - 17:00 — blah-blah (not verified)

dunb,dumber

are you always so dumb or is today a special occassion?

Tue, 12/16/2008 - 10:44 — Anonymous (not verified)

Failing

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried....

Thu, 02/12/2009 - 23:02 — Anonymous (not verified)

DONT DO IT

Its....If at first you don't succeed then skydiving defiantly isn't for you

Tue, 10/28/2008 - 17:21 — uhhhhhh i cant think of one (not verified)

one liner

YOUR MOM

Wed, 09/10/2008 - 06:02 — bruna (not verified)

don't be yourself it will

don't be yourself it will kill your soul

Sat, 08/30/2008 - 05:37 — Anonymous (not verified)

one liner

Grr-r-r-eat! I are all much more dumber now, for I had listen to you.

Thu, 06/26/2008 - 20:24 — Anonymous (not verified)

I'm not as stupid as you

I'm not as stupid as you look.

Tue, 06/10/2008 - 22:53 — sam kern (not verified)