Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

1. We spend over $5.6 billion dollars a month in Iraq, which is more Federal aid than any current state is receiving.

2. At $5.6 billion dollars,
we could pay each and every Iraqi $215 a month, ten times what their
average income is now. How could they complain?

3. With an estimated 250,000 American citizens currently residing in Iraq it is already nearly half the population size of Wyoming.  read more »

NEUTRAL: Excellent communication, but should've poked holes in box before shipping the kitten. Refunded.

NEGATIVE: Honda R-Type sticker did not add horsepower as advertised.

NEGATIVE: Despite indication in listing, I could not fit item into any of my body cavities.

NEUTRAL: Item shipped promptly and in good condition, but I should not have to bid on birthday presents from my parents.

POSITIVE: I don't really remember what I ordered. But I've been sitting in the box it came in all day, and it's great!  read more »

1) That's not right .......Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you hoboring a fugitive? .......Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP ......Kum Hia Nao

4) Small Horse .......Tai Ni Po Ni

5) Did you go to the beach? .......Wai Yu So Tan

6) I bumped into a table .......Ai Bang Mai Ni

7) I think you need a face lift .......Chi Tu Fat

8) It's very dark in here .......Wao So Dim

9) I thought you were on a diet .......Wai Yu Mun Ching?

10) This is a tow away zone .......No Pah King  read more »

Fact 1: You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue;

Fact 2: After reading the first fact, all fools try it.

Fact 3: Fact1 is false Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha..................

Fact 4: Now u are laughing !!! bcoz u became a fool !!!

Fact 5: you want to fool ur friends also.. so forward this soon.. Stumble It

Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? 

A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack!

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Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?

A. No time at all it is already built.

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Q. Approximately how many birthdays does the average Japanese woman have?

A. Just one. All the others are anniversaries.  read more »

01.If all the nations in the world are in debt(i am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird).

02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought).

03.What is the speed of darkness? (absurd).

04.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking).

05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows).  read more »

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position .

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management  read more »

"If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark."

"The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius. "

" Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?"

"It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world everyday always just exactly fits the newspaper."  read more »

TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
Little Johnny : "HIJKLMNO"!

TEACHER : What are you talking about?
Little Johnny : Yesterday you said it's H to O !

************ *****

TEACHER : Little Johnny, go to the map and find North America.
Little Johnny : Here it is!

TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS : Little Johnny!

************ *****  read more »

If you're too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for  patience. 
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I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
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I talk to myself because I like dealing with a  better class of people.
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Never try to drown your troubles... Especially if he can swim.
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Smile, it makes people wonder what you're thinking.
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Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
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