Operating Systems and Airlines



Different operating systems. Different styles. But what if the quirks and styles of the different operating systems were applied to AIRLINES?

What if airlines ran things the way operating systems do? This humorous analogy, applying operating system philosophies as if they were airlines, is a long-standing much-circulated amusing story, and we'd credit the author if we knew who wrote it!

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines...

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colourful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Windows XP Air

You turn up at the airport,which is under contract to only allow XP Air planes. All the aircraft are identical, brightly coloured and three times as big as they need to be. The signs are huge and all point the same way. Whichever way you go, someone pops up dressed in a cloak and pointed hat insisting you follow him. Your luggage and clothes are taken off you and replaced with an XP Air suit and suitcase identical to everyone around you as this is included in the exorbitant ticket cost. The aircraft will not take off until you have signed a contract. The inflight entertainment promised turns out to be the same Mickey Mouse cartoon repeated over and over again. You have to phone your travel agent before you can have a meal or drink. You are searched regularly throughout the flight. If you go to the toilet twice or more you get charged for a new ticket. No matter what destination you booked you will always end up crash landing at Whistler in Canada.

OSX Air:

You enter a white terminal, and all you can see is a woman sitting in the corner behind a white desk, you walk up to get your ticket. She smiles and says "Welcome to OS X Air, please allow us to take your picture", at which point a camera in the wall you didn't notice before takes your picture. "Thank you, here is your ticket" You are handed a minimalistic ticket with your picture at the top, it already has all of your information. A door opens to your right and you walk through. You enter a wide open space with one seat in the middle, you sit, listen to music and watch movies until the end of the flight. You never see any of the other passengers. You land, get off, and you say to yourself "wow, that was really nice, but I feel like something was missing"

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are "sure" you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked "Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?" you instinctively say "Allow".

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn't updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself.

When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"


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Comments



Thank you for this

Thank you for this informative read, I really appreciate sharing this great post. Keep up your work.



very interesting humorous

very interesting humorous post about operating system and airline. I like to visit the aeroplane inside and talk with my child about that. Car Delivery



airlines ran like operating

airlines ran like operating system there would be alot of crashes.



It will be fun if the

It will be fun if the airlines going to change their names into OS names. And I bet there will be huge competition among them. It is going to be fun to watch it.

cheap flights tokyo



OS name for Airplanes? That

OS name for Airplanes? That will be cool and fun. I am sure all passenger will start comparing easy Airline carriers how's the service. Do you think it will happened? Just imagining Airline carriers are named after OS, it makes me smile.



Cheers

Hey thats a great idea... it would be exciting to ride or travel in a plane in the name of an operating system...

Feels so good if that is the same operating system that you use...

Some kind of connection u know...



I prefer Linux

They are carriages ridden by horse, no in-flight movie, no meals, crappy fuel, and after Air DOS took over, you find that they are antique and hung up as decoration around antique stores and living rooms.
For security reason i mostly prefer Air Linux on Airlines for selling tickets and other stuffs.

Regards, Naveen



It will be fun and exciting

It will be fun and exciting to ride an airplane that is named after one of the Operating system. There will surely a big competition and comparison. Srikar, Beach Vacations



Great Idea

I think thats a great idea to name Airlines with OS. there has been some initiative taken by some of the countries government to name some routes railways by some famous company names and brands so why not this initiative.
Good one



That is not a bad idea, to

That is not a bad idea, to name an airlines after different kinds of OS. There will be a great comparison between OS. Invisalign



Oh ya, you are naming

Oh ya, you are naming airlines by OS version names, great comparison, Very interesting to read, I never thought in this angle man, but I had compared OS Versus Human :)
Regards, Rasika



This is really cool! naming

This is really cool! naming Airline by Operating systems it is funny though. But a great idea!!



Typewriter Airlines

They are not airplanes. They are carriages ridden by horse, no in-flight movie, no meals, crappy fuel, and after Air DOS took over, you find that they are antique and hung up as decoration around antique stores and living rooms. At least you get there eventually without crashing. :D



That landing gear on Vista's

That landing gear on Vista's plane must be REALLY old for it not to have an update. If you get annoyed with "cancel or allow", you can disable it. :D (I haven't.)



Unfortunately

im flying with windows vista air..... grrrrrrrrrrr



System I Airlines

When you travel on System I Airlines, you would absolutely love it, and will become a loyal customer for life.

The first time you fly with them, you will find out that the tickets are exorbiantly expensive, but every successive flight gets cheaper and cheaper. Boarding is a breeze, but upon entering the terminal area, you would soon grow tired of the Green on Black background that is in the boarding area, in the planes, on the planes, it's everywhere. Their motto of "You can have a visual experience in any color that you want, so long as it is black … with green writing" dates back to the 1980's and they are not about to change. They remind you that your luggage from the 1980's will magically expand and fit everything you need, decade after decade, and yet it still fits in the overhead storage compartment with ease, as long as you still have the original receipt of the bag or a maintenance contract with the vendor who stitched it together.

The on-board stewardesses are polite, all come from Rochester MN, but sound incredibly bored in their jobs, because of the predictable on-time arrival of the planes.

The planes fly incredably fast and practically fly themselves, to the point that if you walk past the cockpit, you will notice that the lights are out and there is noone in the cockpit - ever.

Unfortunately, every two years the manufacturer of the plane Air-IBM will rename the name of the airline, making hard for you and your friends to find it. And every 7 years, the airline miles you have racked up have to be traded in at 50% of their value.



Nintendo Wii Fit Airlines

You get to the airport, pay your ticket, step on top of a piece from the airplane, and then they say: "Now RUN". After running for god knows how many miles, and arriving at your destination, you have lost 50 pounds, and because the world today gives a shit about your figure, you decide to use this airline from now on because it makes you feel good.



Open Source Airline

Free to use, but limited ...



PCLinuxOS Air

The Linux Air experience is wonderful. Every plane is like a private-charter jet that gives you full control over where it goes, and what route it takes to get there. Sure, the seats are arranged differently, and way you board is different than on Windows Air -- which takes some getting used to. You're disappointed to discover that you can't bring your Sims2 media card on board (not compatible), but there are plenty of other cards provided freely.

After a few flights, you realize that you love the freedom of flying Linux Air. Although the seats and doors are arranged differently, they are move efficient, and facilitate faster boarding. You can modify every aspect of your private jet to your liking. The planes only fly clear skies, and never have unexplained turbulence, like on Windows Air. If a Linux Air plane should require maintenance, there are plenty of other travelers who are also mechanics, and are glad to help, with no labor charges. And tickets? Most flights don't even require you purchase a ticket. You love it!

Linux Air is so reliable that you are never late to any business meetings, unlike your coworkers (who all fly Windows Air). You try to convince them that they should give Linux Air a try. At first they admit that they've never heard of Linux Air. They seem interested, but when you tell them they have to board a tram to get there, they balk. You show them the way, and explain how easy it is to get there, and then they tell you their not that handy. What, with the wrench and the turning, it just takes too much coordination, they say.

At this point, you tell them about PCLinxusOS Travel; one of the many travel agencies for Linux Air. You explain that as you walk in the door, the agents seem to already know your flight requirements (head room, leg room, etc... They escort you to the plane - no muss no fuss. Hell, the agents even check your bags for you! At this, your friends tell you they cannot possibly live without their Sims2; that they love the look of Vista Travel's new brochures (though they disintegrate sometimes); and that they just feel so much safer knowing that the Windows Air planes have advanced turbulence stabilization equipment on them. Too bad for them.



Can someone describe BeOS

Can someone describe BeOS air for me?



Redmond Airlines You go to

Redmond Airlines
You go to the Ticket Store and buy yourself a ticket to board Redmond Airlines for $100, or if you want to have a seat by the window, you will have to pay $200. Once you board the airplane, you will have to purchase a safety helmet for $50. Then you will have to purchase your seat for another $100 from on-board store. To have service, you will have to pay $25/hour to stewardess. The ride will be bumpy and slow, but if you have bought the safety helmet, you are likely to reach your destination eventually.
Apple Airlines
You go to the Ticket Store and buy a good looking private airplane with a pilot for $500. Once you are on the plane, you will have a smooth ride to your destination, but there will be no on-board service.
Canonical Airlines
You purchase your ticket online, but you will have to print it out yourself. Once you board the plane, you will be not pleased to see that you will not have a seat on place, but will have to choose your own seat, which the stewardess will install for you. All the seats will have a window by them. All the food is for free, and once you find the button to call a stewardess, the flight will be smooth and enjoyable.



Ubuntu Air Revisited: You

Ubuntu Air Revisited:

You have no problems making reservations. Upon boarding you find a seat assembly manual that is 10x longer than the original Linux Air model because most of the passengers are afraid to touch a wrench. After settling in, you enjoy a relatively comfortable ride with only a few bumps. The worst part of the trip is listening to the dozens of other passengers who like to pretend that they know how to build an airplane just because they ride in one.



"The worst part of the trip

"The worst part of the trip is listening to the dozens of other passengers who like to pretend that they know how to build an airplane just because they ride in one" lol



THE 'worst part'

THE worst part is that the windows 'games' dont work... But then, out of the blue, you discover what a 'game station' is!!! Holy mother of PERL!!! [ --the best language ever] THE PS2 is awesome. [For all you XBOX fans; YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOUR SELF FOR BUYING STUFF FROM MICROSOFT!!!! :[ MICROSOFT --[ Oh the insanity ]

VISTA---> WOW [What Oblitreated //the\\ World]



AIX Air The aircraft is made

AIX Air
The aircraft is made in Mexico by illegal immigrants from Honduras and the hardware comes from Taiwan. Your ticket cost thirty-two billion dollars but AIX's corporate office, (IBM) insists that their support is worth it and no one was ever fired for flying AIX Air. Once your plane arrives at the boarding terminal, (fifteen hours late) you board the plane to find that there are no seats and wires hanging out of the cabin. Also, the pilots are obnoxious Dutchmen. They inform you that to use AIX air, you must also order components appropriate to your trip. That means another five billion dollars for seats, interior appointments, and support for the seat-belts, which is required if you order a seat-belt with a buckle. After you pay the five billion for your seat and two billion for support with your optional-buckle seat-belt, the plane shudders and goes black inside. Oops, you forgot to update the software, which AIX Airlines will graciously give you a free copy of. Two days after you update your plane's software, you take off and fly at about one third the speed of similar aircraft, and about fifty percent more fuel consumption. When you complain to your AIX stewardess, she will remind you that AIX is very stable and you have other options for your next flight. No, your ticket is not refundable.
When you finally land, the aircraft and everything in it instantly becomes obsolete and worthless. You will have to pay an extraction team to help you get out of the aircraft. Most of your luggage will be horribly mangled and the lab-coated ninety year old Indian desk clerk will not be able to understand you when you complain. You will receive another bill from AIX Air in a few weeks for another couple billion.
John "-linux_lad" Davis



AIX Air The aircraft is made

AIX Air
The aircraft is made in Mexico by illegal immigrants from Honduras and the hardware comes from Taiwan. Your ticket cost thirty-two billion dollars but AIX's corporate office, (IBM) insists that their support is worth it and no one was ever fired for flying AIX Air. Once your plane arrives at the boarding terminal, (fifteen hours late) you board the plane to find that there are no seats and wires hanging out of the cabin. Also, the pilots are obnoxious Dutchmen. They inform you that to use AIX air, you must also order components appropriate to your trip. That means another five billion dollars for seats, interior appointments, and support for the seat-belts, which is required if you order a seat-belt with a buckle. After you pay the five billion for your seat and two billion for support with your optional-buckle seat-belt, the plane shudders and goes black inside. Oops, you forgot to update the software, which AIX Airlines will graciously give you a free copy of. Two days after you update your plane's software, you take off and fly at about one third the speed of similar aircraft, and about fifty percent more fuel consumption. When you complain to your AIX stewardess, she will remind you that AIX is very stable and you have other options for your next flight. No, your ticket is not refundable.
When you finally land, the aircraft and everything in it instantly becomes obsolete and worthless. You will have to pay an extraction team to help you get out of the aircraft. Most of your luggage will be horribly mangled and the lab-coated ninety year old Indian desk clerk will not be able to understand you when you complain. You will receive another bill from AIX Air in a few weeks for another couple billion.
John "-linux_lad" Davis



Nintendo Wii airlines so,

Nintendo Wii airlines
so, you finally find the damn place only to find that the only way to get the most advertised parts of the airline is to buy an extension. However, you just say to yourself "aw hell, I guess it's still awesome even though I can't look at the weather" and so you go to where the planes are but find a bunch of crappy planes that mis-use the plane's attributes. so you must wade through all the shit and then you find an incredibly awesome plane that is perfect in almost every way. and so you get in this plane and instead you find that you need the extra part included with the ticket. You plug it in and the rest is fine except the insanity of getting used to the weird controls. Also, you get to name the plane yourself which is always fun. I named mine Herbert.



the ipod plane get to the

the ipod plane get to the airport and get started with having to plug the plane in to update the plane and tell it were to go also what show you wile on the plane you get the nice optoin of what language to select an this can take days to do as the preparation is done.

when you get going you have to set up and jsut press go wile you pick up the controls to use the pre loded entertainment

just with the odd crash that you have to qucikly restore the plane before you die.

  



iPhone Air: Why waste time

iPhone Air: Why waste time going to the airport? With iPhone air, the plane comes to you! Amazingly, a tiny jet that can do everything a regular jet does will land in your driveway and pick you up. Unfortunately, it will only fly to one of six airports that have contracts with Apple, the ticket is 400 pages long, and it costs $65 a month for the next two years whether you go anywhere or not. On the plus side, every seat comes with a pair of white headphones and a tiny video screen for your in-flight entertainment.



Java Air: You buy a nonstop

Java Air: You buy a nonstop ticket on Java Air, but it turns out to be written in a language that no one at the airport understands. Finally someone shows up, takes your ticket, and translates it into four other tickets on regular airlines, because Java Air doesn't actually have any planes. You end up sitting next to the same people who bought tickets on Windows Air and Linux Air, but you flight takes all day because you have to switch planes in St. Louis, Denver and Seattle. When you call Java Air to complain, the spokesperson reminds you of how much money you saved by not having to call three airlines and book four individual tickets yourself.



There are quite a few people

There are quite a few people on my flight with OS X airlines :p And they are all hot!



OBviously ppl u have not

OBviously ppl u have not flyed AIR BS before.



Air linux- similar to the

Air linux- similar to the above comments of air linux but the self-install parts of the plane come with 4 different instruction manuals, two additional documents making the original 4 "easier," three outdated seatbelts, two outdated (but not marked as such) bolts, and links to about 100 different pre-flight install manuals. A few days later you happen upon just the right set of documents and everything works flawlessly. You notice that most of the plane is brand new and sleek, but there are pre-WWI parts in use in the critical parts of the structure. The attendants reassure you that this is because those portions were done so well in the past, that every current plane relies on them, and that it wouldn't be a fully linux compliant airplane without them- even if they are not used. You arrive at the destination hours before your counterparts who all insist their flight was far better anyway.



Windows Air picks you up in

Windows Air picks you up in a 95 version jet, looking all pretty, then slams into the ground. A '98 jet comes by and picks you up, just before veering off course and ramming into a mountain. A jet labeled "NT" looks as if its coming to help when it disappears in a white mushroom cloud. You attempt to fly Linux air, and after getting tired of smelting the metal needed to build the plane (which you do your self), you try the shiny new XP jet, the latest offering from Windows Air. Though not perfect, this plane seems to offer everything you need, with minimal maintenance (eventualy) plus, it doesnt explode. You then hear of a "company" offering a "Black" version of this plane, which is unsupported by Windows Air, and though illegal, it doesnt crash and takes less money to get airborn. You go with this offering, hopeing it will work. Since you own a legal ticket, the illegal part doesnt bother you, and you soon find that XP Black is just as good as it sounds, though at times you take Ubuntu Air just for the hell of it.



Vistabomination tells you

Vistabomination tells you you do not have enough cash to ask a question.

Instead of flying, Vistabomination runs out of fuel - one passenger amounts to an overload of the aircraft, so everyone has to get out and repeat the boarding process. This is deemed a safety feature, and the passengers tell each other how secure they feel.



Nice article but I fell in

Nice article but I fell in love with those link you have under "Bookmark/Search this post with:"
Is that a Drupal module (this site looks like a Drupal theme) or something you've made by yourself?
Bye,
Max



i am using drupal module

i am using drupal module



For all the german speaking

For all the german speaking people out there.
I translated the original text to german: http://juliusbeckmann.de/thema/Wenn-Betriebssysteme-Airlines-waeren-....html



Coming to Linux from XP

Coming to Linux from XP results in meeting people who speak only Greek, unless you're Greek, in which case they speak Cantonese. If you can understand, by telepathy or other means, what they expect, you'll be treated better than you ever were. If you can't understand, the plane taxis into the terminal, directly over you.



Vista: You ask all your

Vista: You ask all your friends and find a way to stop making everyone ask you such useless questions. Once you turn it off all the terrorists (that actually know how to terrorize Vista Air) come in and your airport.



Through experience you've

Through experience you've learned both OS X and Linux airlines are your best bet in travel. This is a fact even though nearly ninety-seven percent of the planet believes Redmond airlines is the de-facto `only` way to fly.The OS X airline company make their own planes and all the extra equipment to run them. They are centralized and have fewer reported issues with their aircraft. Their old aircraft still sell on the free market and retain their value even after decades of use. The Redmond airline company has admitted they like OS X airline and try to copy its methods and look at every chance they get. Lately the CEO of OS X airlines has been making a profit for the company selling smaller aircraft for local and regional flights.The Linux airlines, originally a Norwegian company now global, are making huge leaps forward in taking business away from Redmond and, in some places, OS X airlines. For now they are still focused on capturing the market being lost or ignored by the Redmond company. These companies are adept in taking new equipment or old shattered equipment from Redmond in-flight explosions and making top-notch aircraft and flights.



On a vista flight - you have

On a vista flight - you have flown with xp for a long time but you have a bad experience and decide to try something new, your ticket for the vista flight is more expensive but you expect this means a better quality of service.
Your ticket arrives through the post late, upon arriving at the airport everything is colourful and very easy and automated, you sit down in the arrivals lounge and you notice all the electrical wall sockets have child covers on, so you cant just plug in your laptop and go like you could on air xp.
Finally after a delay you start boarding, you see the wizard everyone has told you about, you ask him how come you cant plug your laptop into the plain? he simply asks you if you would like a coffee? avoiding the question totally.
After further inspection of the plane you realise that everything is padded, theirs no light controls and really its just a dumbed down xp flight, but infants could fly this aircraft.
MADbanzai



IRIX Air 6.5 You have tried

IRIX Air 6.5
You have tried the rest, now try what was the best ten years ago. Unusually the planes are supersonic Concorde models, made in Switzerland or the aptly named Mountain View. Shockingly, the seats cost from ten thousand pounds (economy O2 'blocky polygon' class) to a million pounds (Infinite Reality class). Allegedly there were seats that cost even more than that but only the military and a few weather forecasters had a go on those. Almost all of the seats are Indigo coloured and very sophisticated - a class of their own with qualities you just do not get today.
As well as having to get someone to pay for your seat, there is a ridiculously vast level of insurance to pay out - they call it 'support'. This doubles the cost of the seat, but given that your flight is so important you pay for it anyway. Naturally this support is not really needed, but then it might be.
As you take your seat you accidentally sneeze. A whole team of smart suit techno boffins turn up even though your sneeze wasn't exactly the 'fatal bus error' your seat automatically reported. You get a free holographic tissue and they somehow manage to sell you added in flight entertainment for your seat. Installation is effortless, however, all of the movies are at least a decade old and with really cheesy CG. You settle down to a choice between Jurassic Park and Twister. Both movies feature seats remarkably like those of IRIX Air. Twister seems to be a big fuss about minor weather phenomena and doesn't compare to the disaster level of today's Katrina and the Tsunami news. So you find a winterm and load up a flight simulator.
Bizarrely the seat has many flight simulators and you can fly with others in the same blockily mip-mapped world. With 'vi' you edit the weight for your plane and run into a floating point math error somewhere in outer ionosphere - scary with the as provided stereo goggles. You kill it and then look for another toy or game. At the top of the toolchest is the 'OOBE'. You fire it up and wow - it is all in 3D and properly multimedia. There is none of the flatworld web of today. You can even write your own pages and make your own virtual worlds.
Then something weird happens. Initially what was an elite-yet-packed flight full of oil execs, movie stars, jet fighter pilots and the occasional meteorologist now seems to have thinned out a bit. Some have taken their seats with them to WinNT Air. Allegedly the bolts match up to those now found on Boeing 586's. You did not like those people anyway so if they just want to get there then that is fine, so be it.
Then the pilot announces that Linux Air seats are the future - even more people jump ship.
Then a nightmare happens. Your employer decides to hire the people on the Win NT flight. Allegedly they don't pay for support, steal their seats and hijack planes, so what is your employer doing? Luckily you still have other paying customers, but maybe IRIX Air is too expensive for the marketplace now that the industry has been deregulated, down-sized and outsourced.
So, you have a go on Linux Air. Nothing seems quite right, a bit foreign and not anywhere near as good as the Rolls Royce Irix Air luxury. Then you have a reality check - Linux Air gets there quicker and more conveniently than 'supersonic' IRIX. Also, the Linux Air people are perfectly happy to share seats, so you don't even have to do the four bolt thing yourself. You just pay hosting fees and enjoy the ride, wondering why the glory days of IRIX Air had to go. Why did not the world want 3D - was it too difficult for them? Did they only have modest dreams of adventure?



can somebody describe

can somebody describe knoppix airlines (linux live cd's)



You decide to get a ticket

You decide to get a ticket on knoppix air. When you arrive at the airport, things are pretty much the same as standard Linux air. You get into the plane and find that the seat has already been built, but it's two sizes too small and there is no way to change it. Also, you notice that the plane is slower than Linux air because the fuel tanks require much smaller gas lines. Also, there is a button that is always hovering around just in case you want to turn the plane into a "real" Linux Air plane, complete with normal gas tanks. Also, instead of landing, they skipped the landing sequence and just went straight for the ground. The thud was a bit obnoxious and completely destroyed the plane, but it respawns for the next flight anyways.
Another thing you notice is that the plane has the same chassis as the vehicles used to repair Linux planes.



You begin your journey with

You begin your journey with a sales agent from Air Knoppix knocking on your door. He asks you if you if you are happy with your current airline carrier. After a brief discussion, he hands you a ticket, and tells you that you can take a trip on the house, and nobody will know you ever left. If you decide you like it, you can change your carrier mid-flight, knowing all flights from then on will be the same. If you decide that you don't like Air Knoppix, you can simply eject from the flight, and have your normal carrier pick you up on landing, and resume your trip to your destination, and you won't die on impact! When you get to the airport, you notice that it looks a lot like how people described Air Linux. After boarding, you notice it is exactly the same as Air Linux, without having to build your own seat. The attendant says that all first time flyers have their seat built for them, but that when they are ready to, they are free to modify the seat to suit their own personal comfort needs. You look at the back of the seet in front of you, and notice a button, that says "Would you like to perminatly change carriers?



Forgot to lay claim to this

Forgot to lay claim to this post:

 

--JonsJava



brilliant one absolutely

brilliant one absolutely loved it...



DSL Airlines All the planes

DSL Airlines
All the planes look too small to fly in, but you have probably seen them in an old war movie. You get inside and can easily see the gauges; on the outside, the propeller is a black and white "X". The planes fly faster than they did originally, but they are still slow.



Apple Mac

Apple Mac Airlines:
Everything is wonderful, the check-in, the boarding, the flight. Then your plane lands on a desert island. You are alone, by yourself, no one in site. Oddly the only thing there is a VW Bug with a flower in the dash-board. You spend the rest of your days looking at the pretty color of your lifeless computer.

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