Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

Dear Child,

I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home.

Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.

I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.  read more »

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Jackson to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number.

The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years.  read more »

Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.

Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick.

Byte - What your pitbull done to cousin Jeb.

Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.

Terminal - Time to call the undertaker.

Crash - When you go to Bubba's party uninvited.

Digital - The art of counting on your fingers.

Diskette - Female Disco dancer.

Fax - What you lie about to the IRS.  read more »

What do you call 28 rednecks in the same room?

 A full set of teeth!!

Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911.

The 911-operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.

"Where do you live?" asked the operator.

Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."

The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?"