Really Funny Clean Jokes and Humor

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.

NAME__________________________

DATE OF BIRTH___________________

HEIGHT________WEIGHT__________

IQ___________ GPA______________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_______________

DRIVERS LICENSE #_______________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______

HOME ADDRESS___________________

CITY/STATE___________ ZIP________

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________

_____________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ____________

If less than your age, explain _____________________

_____________________________________________

A truck with oversized tires? ______________________

A waterbed?___________________________________

A pickup with a mattress in the back?________________

Do you have an earring ? _________________________

nose ring, or a navel ring? ________________________

A tattoo?______________________________________

(IF YES TO THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)

In 50 words or less, what does LATE mean to you?
______________________________________________

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" mean to you?

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

______________________________________________

______________________________________________

Church you attend _______________________________

How often you attend ____________________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? ________________________________________

mother? _______________________________________

pastor? ________________________________________

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

_______________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

_______________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

_______________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

________________________________________________

What do you want to do IF you grow up? _______________

________________________________________________

________________________________________________

What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND OTHER TORTURE.

________________________________________________
Signature (that means sign your name, *****!)

Thank you for your interest. Please allow four to six years for processing.

You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write (since you probably can't, and it would cause you injury). If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases (you might watch your back).

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