Womens hair cuts
Woman #1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman #2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman #1: Oh God no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think. read more »
â€œI'll take you to a fancy restaurant.â€ Really means...
â€œThis time we won't use the drive-thru window.â€
â€œWill you marry me?â€ Really means...
â€œBoth my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter.â€
â€œI do help around the house.â€ Really meansâ€¦
â€œI once put a dirty towel in the laundry basket.â€
â€œHey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing.â€ Really means...
â€œAnd I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.â€ read more »
Must be able to dig worms, clean, and cook fish.
Must have own boat with motor.
Please send the photograph of motorboat.
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me with her service.
Wanted a sturdy wife.
Should be in working condition.
Should be above average and must run household at a good average. read more »
There were three guys talking in the cafe. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.
After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says,
"Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
The third fellow says...
"I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees."
The first two guys were amazed.
"What happened then?" they asked. read more »
Jim had awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one.
On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman...
"Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?"
"Why do you want me to throw them at you?"
"Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them."
"Okay, but I suggest that you take the tuna."
"But , why?" read more »
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor.
DATE OF BIRTH___________________
SOCIAL SECURITY #_______________
DRIVERS LICENSE #_______________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_______
HOME ADDRESS___________________ read more »
Tip 1 - When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Women's Way - Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.
Tip 2 - If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice. read more »
I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife.
As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.
â€œIâ€™m sorry,â€ the clerk said. â€œThis man just ordered our last bunch.â€
The desperate customer turned to me and begged, â€œMay I please have those roses?â€
â€œWhat happened?â€ I asked. â€œDid you forget your wedding anniversary?â€
â€œItâ€™s even worse than that,â€ he confided. read more »
It was at a party and the host was getting worried because there were too many people and not enough refreshments.
She was sure that not all of these people had been invited but didn't know how to tell which ones were the crashers.
Then her husband got an idea....
He turned to the crowd of guests and said "Will those who are from the brides side of the family stand up please?" about twenty people stood. read more »
A man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man said "When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on"
The wife apologized and went on with the housework.
Three days later read more »